Wednesday, August 8, 2018

My other near-brushes with death include the following: Read only if you have the brave heart of a true warrior, you will be rewarded at the end.

I was strongly expecting to buy it then and there, I honestly did not expect to live, but The Lord still had other plans for us, at least for that particular day. I ain't all that religious myself, more of what you call spiritual, but I DEFINITELY prayed in that moment, LIKE I HAD NEVER PRAYED BEFORE.
My other near-brushes with death include the following:
01-Having been strangled with my umbilical cord at birth, I may have minor brain damage as a result, so if I come off as overemotional and erratic at times, that could be a contributing factor.
02-Me and my brother Connor getting buried in the neighbor kids' backyard when I was 4 and he was 10 (1984, the year of Red Dawn, Dune, and Communism in the USSR).
03-When I was six, and Mother was driving me to school on her way to work, us skidding off the entrance road to Lakeside, OR, on an icy winter morning, that was a close call, luckily all we ran into was a bunch of blackberry bushes. Had a heck of a time getting out of there (1986).
04-Having my right eyebrow slashed open by the edge of a metal bucket that Brother Connor kicked at me when I was hard at work being a 'little-bother' brother and harassing him.
I needed about 20 stitches and medical attention. Poor young Mother Janet was grasping at her pantyhose in shock and disbelief. Thank You, for the memories, Mother and Brother (1986).
05-Having attempted suicide FIVE different times as a youngster, twice when I was eight (1988), the first time, threatening to stick myself in the heart with a dull knife, when I was being mean and unruly to my mother and brother and they were trying to get me to behave myself.
The second at age eight, being jumping off of my Grandma Jean's deck at a height of 12 feet, and all I did was mess up my legs, somehow without breaking them.
The third time, trying to jump in front a passing car in front of our house, when I was fourteen (1994), after Mother had been trying to make me behave myself again, and I wouldn't.
The fourth time at age 18 (1998), when I tried to hang myself in our front porch area, once again, because Mother and I had been FIGHTING over MY NOT BEHAVING MYSELF. I was a very angry, destructive, and hostile boy who didn't respect rules, elders, authority, or the law.
The following day, we got into a wrestling match and fisticuffs over my not doing my homework because Mother was worried that I wouldn't graduate High School on time, because I was failing two classes in the first term of my senior year.
I had already failed a bunch in my sophomore year from cutting class to smoke pot and avoid crossing paths with a certain bully that had beaten me up that summer and was continuing to harass and threaten me in my classes. I couldn't talk about this with family because they were mad at me for failing.
The fifth time was in 2000 when I was struggling with my Community College classes and I was again, struggling with feeling alienated and disinherited from my genius-level family for being an academic failure.
I had fantasized about shooting myself with a hunting rifle in the meadow near my other Grandmother's house.
That all changed in April 2002 when my best friend from grade school, Bruce Allen Dean, took his own life with a rope, shortly after his twenty-second birthday.
I was numb for about a week then I spent eight years being an enraged and inconsolable Agnostic. I blamed God for not saving my best friend from his own stupidity.
Suicide is a STUPID act. My poor mother and all my 12-step fellows had to put up with my angry and nasty temper during that period. The upside of that anger was being disgusted enough by Bruce's self-inflicted murder, suicide is murder of the self, that I vowed to NEVER TRY THAT ONE AGAIN, in my own life.
Maybe my best friend died to show me how NOT to live. Maybe God if He exists, uses the folly of others to teach ALL OF US, how NOT to live.
06-Having almost perished from drowning twice as a youngster. I still have a cranky irrational fear of water. I don't really like swimming and I have a tendency to take sponge baths (1990, 1992).
07-Having almost perished from hypothermia twice as a youngster. In both instances, I bent the knee to God and asked Him to help me find my Compass Directions again and show me what I needed to do to survive (1991, 1994).
08-Having had my life threatened with weapons multiple times, including twice with guns. Isn't the drug and alcohol life exciting? Especially in your teenage years.
By the way, I had to change schools in my freshman year, for snitching on a local drug dealer that had tried to blackmail me and my friend into helping him commit a rape (1995).
We had both stood our ground and refused him. He was not happy about that and threats against us and my mother followed. I really did have to leave that school.
09-Making myself very sick and nauseated with some bad LSD-laced marijuana for three days straight. Drinking myself into a very painful and sweaty hangover that hurt like hell (cancer-like pains without any cancer).
Taking half a bottle of Aspirin 'just-for-a-rush' and spending half a day feeling like I was swimming in quicksand. All when I was only fifteen years old (1995).
10-Passing around a sawed-off 20-gauge shotgun with my stoner buddies. We had no idea if it was loaded or not. Still gives me chills, just writing about it (1995).
11-Getting driven around in the back of a hatchback car on a very bumpy dirt road, by a drunk-and-stoned driver. I vowed to NEVER EVER drive drunk after that one (1995).
The irony in that one was that I was arrested for DUI seven years later in 2002, with three-and-a-half years of sobriety. Except for a brief 2-3 month training session with Father last year (2017), I have NEVER DRIVEN SINCE. I am 38 1/2 years old.
12-Having survived, very narrowly, almost having my throat cut with a 12-INCH BOWIE KNIFE, by someone I had thought to be a CLOSE FRIEND, WHEN HE TRIED TO RAPE ME (1996).
A mutual friend of ours was able to talk him into backing off, for fear of the Law if nothing else. I will always be grateful to that guy, wherever he is.
Ironically, this one had also previously witnessed some possible minor acts of child molestation, in his day care center, sometime between the ages of four to six years old.
Furthermore, and quite frankly, the editor DOESN'T REALLY CARE WHETHER YOU BELIEVE ME OR NOT. YOUR OPINION OF ME IS IRRELEVANT. THIS IS MY STORY, AND I NEED TO SHARE IT, WITH WHOEVER WILL LISTEN. That is all, dismissed.
13-Having had unprotected intimate relations with both my first and second girlfriends (1996) and (2001).
Very fortunate in both cases to have not contracted anything life-threatening or sired any babies that I didn't have the money to pay for, very lucky indeed.
14-Calling for God to 'take me up, up, and away to Heaven, instantly like Superman' in a lightning storm in Silver City, New Mexico, once again, after Mother Janet and I had been feuding while on a road trip.
Ironically, in 1992, at twelve, I had survived a lightning strike that was within about about fifteen feet of where I was standing in our driveway at our house up on a mountaintop, back then.
I was not a very sane or dependable traveling companion, I was prone to erratic outbursts of fear and anger while on the road. I am truly sorry, Mother (2001).
15-Risking my own life and freedom in defense of Mother Janet on NO FEWER than six occasions, four of those times armed with only my bare hands and my big chunky Scottish _ss kicking legs.
One of those times was against my own Brother. Another time was against an Ex-Marine Desert Storm Vet with an Iron Vulcan Death Grip.
This is NOT braggadocio or boasting. I have NOTHING TO GAIN by my lying to you about this. This is a VERY TRUE story (1994-2013).
16-Mother Janet and I both barely surviving a brutal and nasty six-week-long flu spell while we were homeless and staying in the Salty Cove Rescue Mission, shortly before our sixtieth and thirtieth Birthdays. Fun Stuff. Praise The Lord. Praise Him Now, And Forevermore (2010).
17-Mother Janet and Dr. Nigel Derringer at The Simpson Clinic getting after 'stubborn-willful-old-me' about my weighing 312 pounds at 62 and having a blood pressure of 175/130, at the age of 33.
This was induced by four years of a bad gluten-heavy diet combined with potent anti-depressants that made me do nothing but eat and sleep. Both strongly feared for my death by heart attack by the age of 40. I am now 38 1/2 years old (2013).
18-Mother Janet ran off a grungy and nasty-looking drunk that was trying to panhandle me in the parking lot at the grocery store. ALSO TRUE (2014).
19-Nearly perishing from heatstroke in Roseburg, OR, in the summer of 2014, after having foolishly walked three-and-a-half miles round trip on Highway 99 on the road to Green, OR, to waste $200 on a bunch of crappy Porn DVD's at the local Adult Bookstore. It was about 105 degrees that day.
Mother Janet saved my worthless hide yet again, with an icy cold bottle of Canada Dry Ginger Ale and three or four waterlogged hand towels from our motel room. God was ON MY SIDE that day (2014).
20-Mother Janet COMMANDING ME (She was good that way, a fearless Field General, she would have been great in the Army) to back away from our minivan then risking herself to remove our belongings from the back end of the vehicle.
This was after we had gotten it high-centered and stuck on the railroad tracks in Silver Springs, Nevada. Lucky for us, no trains were scheduled to run on Sundays there (2014).
My point in bringing all this seriousness up, is to rationally argue 20 different instances in which God saved me both from my own stupidity and that which was selfishly inflicted upon me by others. In short, He saved my life 20 different times.
My five favorite characters in the Bible are Job, who bravely survived having endless curses and diseases thrown at him, Jonah who lived for two weeks in the belly of a whale, Jacob who had to overcome his dishonest and scheming older brother Esau to win their father's birthright, Joseph who endured being sold into slavery and imprisonment by his brothers, and lastly, Lot, who fled Sodom and Gomorrah with his young daughters in tow, with all the sexually-sinful villagers being turned to stone right behind them, as they were leaving. That was a close call.
Those five were a testament to what is equivalent to Uncommon Valor and Courage in battle in the military. They deserve Purple Hearts and Medals Of Honor. There was nothing all that special about them, on the face of it, other than that they survived, endured, and lived.
This humble Civilian-Soldier of the American Empire argues his case for following God's Law and living a clean-and-sober life. We drive ourselves into Misery with selfish choices.
I am also forever grateful to have been partly raised by my Major Grandpa Norman Washburn Smyth, United States Air Force, 1924, 2011. He carried his Military-Warrior Ethos into Civilian Life and skillfully imbued it upon Mother Janet and myself.
I will quote the ill-fated and tragic hero, Gray Fox from the Metal Gear Solid video game series (Thank You, Hideo Kojima for your 30 years of creative service at Konami), which is:
Fighting was all I was ever good at, but at least I always fought for what I believed in.”
I Rest My Case, Your Excellency, God Bless America, Amen, And Good Night.

Now, back to the here-and-now in Roseburg, OR, in July of 2014.

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